


Next To Me

by Kayin



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M, Nameless Apprentice, Song fic, sappy af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23507044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayin/pseuds/Kayin
Summary: Julian's take on some of the scenes in the game, with the added bonus of having a theme due to a song that I couldn't get out of my head.
Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Next To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue belongs to Nix Hydra. All I did was put a spin on it by putting it in Julian's perspective.
> 
> Song belongs to Imagine Dragons. Song Title: Next to Me  
> Here's a link to the song via YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-C_rvt0SwLE

Five Salty Bitters in and the pain of their loss is still overwhelming. Why was the universe so cruel, to have let them meet, only to have to force them away? Why couldn’t he be something worthy, someone with a future to give them everything they could possibly want? He didn’t deserve them, he couldn’t protect them, all he can do is hurt them and himself. He was nothing but a pitiful mess. 

Yet, his heart ached wanting nothing but for them to appear in front of him.

_Something about the way that you walked into my living room_

“Julian.” Did he hear right? Or was it his imagination playing cruel tricks?

Slowly, he raises his head to peek up through his tangled mess of unruly auburn. He sees them, looking divine, a halo of light surrounding them from the candelabra hanging just beyond them. He’s not sure if the effect is from the alcohol or just _them._

“Y/N!” His words tumble from him in surprise and awe. “You uhhh-you’re here. In the Raven. In front of me.” He can feel the blush come easily, the alcohol isn’t helping. “What, uh. What are you doing here?”

_Casually and confident looking at the mess I am_

“Julian, this is a good way to get yourself caught.” They say to him, hands on their hips. His attempt to deflect his sister’s ire with humor didn’t seem to affect them. 

Haughtily, he replies, “Caught? Me, caught?” It dies instantly, even he knows he can’t keep this up. “Mmm. Good, I’d deserve it.” He throws his arms wide, in his stupor he smacks a chair and doesn’t even have the feeling in his limbs to register the pain. It wobbles for a long moment before stilling. He waits for it before he continues; his bravado says for dramatic effect, but his heart says it’s because he doesn’t want to admit the truth.

“You must be relieved. Even if you weren’t last night, well. Just look at me now, hmm? I’m all… I’m all washed up.” He looks up at them, still glowing iridescent and he squints to see if he can cause the effect to increase. “You’d better get out of here, before I drag you both down too.”

_But still you, still you want me_

“No.” They say with certainty. He starts, staring at them in confusion. What? Did he hear them right?

“I-er, what?” He asks dumbly.

They look at him with determination, they seem so sure, so good, so _wonderful._ “We aren’t leaving.”

He paces the cell, chains around his wrists clanking as he walks. He can’t get the image of them, shocked, scared, and disappointed out of his mind. The look in their eyes haunted him all night, they left a sour feeling in his stomach making him unwilling to touch the food that the guards provided. He knew it was going to be hard, he knew his path was going to hurt. Ever since he returned to Vesuvia, he knew his path would be difficult. 

He just wasn’t planning on having to drag them through the pain too. Were they alright? Was he able to fool the Countess and the guards? Oh, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to them because of him.

_Stress lines and cigarettes, politics and deficits_

The cell door opens, and he didn’t realize he was muttering his thoughts until his voice dies in his throat. They’re here, standing before him, whole and healthy. A myriad of emotions flash across his face, unable to control himself. “You’re alright!”

His voice dies again in his throat, and he clears it, attempting to control his features. “I-I mean. You, uh.” He forces himself to give a mocking grin, hating himself on the inside for having to keep up the facade. “You’ve come to hear my confession before the trial, have you?”

“Drop the act.” They say, rolling their eyes. They seem annoyed with him, but he could take it. He would take it, if it kept them safe. He had to keep it going, he _had to._

He has to school his features again, he can’t keep messing up like this, someone will be able to see past him. “I. Er, that is.” His smirk returns, his lips quiver with the effort. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

_Late bills and overages, screaming and hollering_

“I know you, Julian.” Something passes across their face, exasperation, desperation and hope? He can’t let them have it. He can’t make them think it was going to be okay somehow.

“You think you know me?” His smirk turns into a sneer, a little too easily for his taste. “You don’t know the first thing about me. What I’ve done. What a _monster_ I am.” He can’t look at them, at the hurt in their eyes. He looks at the cell door behind them, unable to meet that hurt. “This is long overdue. Isn’t it time I faced justice for my crimes?”

_But still you, still you want me_

He looks down at the card, Justice reversed, unconvinced of the reading they just gave. Unconvinced, or unwilling to listen? “And what if… everything I’ve done has been built on falsehoods?” He looks up at them, afraid to meet their eyes. “What if you didn’t know me at all? And I don’t want you to know the real me?” It’s hard to look at them, to see that look on their face. “You deserve better than that, Y/N. After everything I’ve done… I bet you wish you’d never met me.”

“But I did. Wishing won’t change that.” They take a step forward, and he stares at their feet.

“Even when I bring you misfortune?” He says to their feet, his voice is so low he’s not sure if they could hear him.

“You can’t blame yourself for everything.”

_Oh, I always let you down_

“What’s wrong?” They ask quietly. He fights the urge to look back at them, instead he keeps his vision out towards the sea. 

“Lots of things. Too many to count. Give me a number, and I’ll tell you it’s too low.” He sighs, this wasn’t going to be easy. He needs to do it, he can’t stall any longer. “I’ve done the calculations. Thought of every possibility. Run through the scenario in my head over and over.” He closes his eyes. “There’s only one way I can see this whole thing playing out. And it’s not a happy ending, trust me.” Slowly, he opens his eyes again. He can almost feel the confusion radiating off of them. “Isn’t it best to cut things off at the pass? To spare you the trouble of a tragic ending?” 

He can hear the revelation in their voice as they speak. “You weren’t going to get breakfast this morning, were you?”

_You're shattered on the ground_

He leans forward onto his elbows, feet dangling over the water, he watches the island in the distance with morose eyes. “I don’t want to drag this out, Y/N. This… whatever it was, whatever it could have been. It has to end. Before it’s too late for you.” He peeks at them, they stare down at the water below with hard eyes. “I’m only going to end up hurting you somehow. I know it.” He says softly.

They look up, pain, hurt, confusion and defiance in their eyes. “I’m not afraid of pain.” 

He watches them, eye fluttering from one of theirs to the other. He had no doubt that they weren’t. “You shouldn’t be so cavalier with your own safety, Y/N.”

“I could say the same to you. What you’re doing isn’t healthy.”

_But still I find you there_

“I’m only trying to protect you--”

“I don’t need protection.” The words hurt, but he takes them like a dagger to his heart. A dagger he deserves.

“It’s all I can offer you. I’m not a good man, Y/N. The things I’ve done…” He sighs again, and turns to look back at the sea. “I did something unforgivable. I must have. Where else does this pit in my stomach come from?” Slowly he looks back at them, heart aching. “I won’t have you come down this path with me. You deserve better than that.”

They watch him for a long minute, their eyes taking him in, eyebrows pinching together. What are they thinking? Does he have the right to want to know?

“Do you want me?”

_Next to me_

He bites his lip, it was too hard to deny them their answer. Again, if he was a stronger man… But oh, he did. How he wanted them.

“I want you.”

_And oh, stupid things I do_

He keeps at least a few yards ahead of the guards, but surely their yelling will bring more. Quickly he pushes through the brush careless of the impeccable landscaping. He reaches the other side and stumbles into a clearing, to his right is a large fountain, and there…

“Julian?!” He hears their voice before he sees them, fear and confusion ringing in the syllables of his name. He finds them, Pasha too, and he can’t help but to check them over, make sure they’re alright. Then he sees the Countess a short distance away. He steels his nerve and pushes them aside, he has to protect them if he can. 

“I’m not here to talk to a couple of strangers!”

“My word! Is this-?”

_I'm far from good, it's true_

He throws his arms wide, making his coat billow out, an attempt to draw any and all attention to him, and not the look of horror on their face. The look of realization of what he’s doing. “Countess Nadia, ruler of Vesuvia!” He says, voice booming. Please, pay attention to him, not to them. “Your guards and magicians may have failed to find me, but at long last, after all these years…”

_But still I find you_

“I, Julian Devorak, have come to turn myself in for the murder of Count Lucio!” He puffs his chest out as he declares this. The Countess stares at him in shock.

He can’t help but take a quick glance at them, what he sees nearly breaks him. Fear, shock and what’s most hurtful, disappointment. I’m sorry, he thinks, this is the only way to protect you.

_Next to me_

He breaks the surface of the water, lungs burning and gasps for air. He feels hands on his arms and he reaches for them, blinking the water from his eyes. He grabs their shoulders and gives them a once over. “Y/N, are you alright?!”

They smile at him, trying to give reassurance through their grip. “I’m okay.”

“You, you didn’t inhale any water, did you? No? Any bumps or-?” He watches them, they are as calm and collected as usual. “...you, uh, you’re awfully relaxed for someone who nearly drowned.”

They get a mischievous glint in their eye. “I didn’t nearly drown. I just… decided I didn’t need to breathe.” 

_There's something about the way that you always see the pretty view_

He regards them as he attempts to collect himself. It’s unnerving how they can be so calm. He’s glad, because he’s a mess inside, so at least someone has a reign on what’s happening. He was out of his element here. “What kind of logic is that? Is that a magic thing? Or is that a… here thing? Where are we?”

He takes a peek around, it’s dark, dank and murky. He glances back at them, and they stand there taking in the sights with nonchalance as if this was a normal tuesday afternoon. He loved and hated that. They were the calm to his panic, the knowledge to his ignorance, the light to his dark. 

“This must be the Hanged Man’s realm. The ritual worked.”

“Really? I mean, uh, of course it worked.” He can’t help his blush.

_Overlook the blooded mess, always looking effortless_

“Julian-” He can hear their warning call, but he can’t seem to stop himself. He’s a bundle of nerves, choosing to lose himself in a past he’s more familiar with than to keep himself grounded in the here and now. He ascends another stair. “Julian, stop!” 

It’s too late, he’s already committed to the step, and he realizes with a skip of his heart that there’s no more stairs to climb. An undignified yelp escapes him as he tumbles over the edge. His crash into water is suspended by a large amount of vines that break his fall and surprisingly support his weight. Despite them being thorned, he seems to not have sustained any punctures. 

His surprise keeps him from being embarrassed as he sees them round the corner with a worried expression. “I, huh, I’m okay? Sorry, Y/N. Got a little carried away there, didn’t I? Lucky these were here.” He tugs on the vines before an idea comes to him. He gives them a dark smirk, and further entangles himself in the vines. Might as well make light of an embarrassing situation, yes? He can still come out of this on top if he plays it right. 

“Oh no, Y/N, looks like I’ve gotten a little… tied up.” His smirk opens up to an eager grin, he can’t help himself, and he’s encouraged by the lidded look they give him. “Whatever will I do?”

When their lips dance up his exposed neck, he can’t help the flush of his skin, his more than eager groan and he bites his lip. “Mmm, Y/N, please-” How could he have gotten this lucky? This divine being, willing to put up with his antics and also play along with his desires?

_And still you, still you want me_

The crowd is large, and he looks about them seeing emotions of all types within the faces of the people. “So here I am, Vesuvia!” He greets them, smirking. “Finally facing justice, after all these years.” He’s greeted with jeers of “murderer” and “coward”, he takes the insults in stride. He opens his arms wide, gesturing for them to continue, inviting their anger. “Condemn me if you like… but first, answer me this.” He watches confusion dawn their faces and they quiet down to hear him. “Who among you can really say you miss the Count, and not just his parties?”

_I got no innocence, faith ain't no privilege_

The boo’s taper off, replaced with a murmur throughout the crowd. He continues, “What did he do for the sick and dying?”

They answer with a loud resounding “Nothing!”

“When did help come for the Flooded District?”

Louder they respond, “Never!”

He sneers at the people, the topic of his address making his face pinch in anger. “He was a plague on the city! A frivolous Count who threw lavish parties while Vesuvia withered!” The crowd cheers their agreement.

_I am a deck of cards, vice or a game of hearts_

He smiles out at them. “So don’t think too unkindly of me, dear Vesuvia. I did it all for you, and I don’t regret a thing. History will vindicate me.” He bows low and earnest to the crowd, they murmur and sway talking amongst themselves. 

Behind him he can hear the executioner approach. In a panic, he glances around the crowd. Where? Where? Where… ah, _there._ He can see them standing alone, watching him with intense eyes. He’s glad they came. If this really were to be his final moments, he’s glad they at least included them. He would want the last thing he sees to be a vision of them, bright, vibrant and glowing in the sun’s rays. 

Trust me, he tries to say with his eyes. I’ll return to you. Wait for me. 

They nod to him, and give him a brave smile. He could live with that.

There’s a creak of the lever, and the rope goes taught. 

_And still you, still you want me_

_Oh, I always let you down_

“I… I want to show you something.” He says softly, his eyes are trained on his office desk, so it was easy to navigate his fingers to the underside, to the hidden button that releases the secret drawer. Inside is a single sheaf of paper, which he gingerly grabs and holds out to them. He doesn’t look up until they’ve taken the paper. He glances up in time to see the shock on their face, see the paper quiver in their grasp. 

“I found this last time I was here. I thought… Well, I wasn’t sure what to think. I wasn’t sure if it was a citizen’s report, or if we actually knew each other.” He glances down at his boots, now dirty and scuffed from their adventures. “And then, when the Hanged Man gave me my memories back, I…” He looks back up at them, their face is screwed up in an expression he can’t decipher. “I finally remembered. Y/N… I’m sorry.” He faces them fully now, they deserved his best in this apology. 

_You're shattered on the ground_

“You needed me and I wasn’t there. I failed you. What if… if something happens again?” He doesn't know what he’s trying to accomplish with the question. He only wanted to apologize, but he can’t help his insecurities. He watches them as they regain control of their expression. He wants to reach out and hold them, but he’s not sure if that would be best.

“You can’t save everyone.” Their voice is soft, but in the small office/cell it’s loud enough. 

He’s confused now, he thought for sure they would be more upset with him. “But you were working at my clinic. You were helping _me._ And I did nothing.” He wants to grab their shoulders, and shake them, as they did to him, what seems like an eternity ago now, the day before his trial. He’s startled to silence by the fierce look in their eyes. 

“It was my decision. My choice, for better or worse.” Their gaze softens, their eyes soaking in the sight of him. “Besides, you weren’t doing nothing. You were here, working to find a cure. Nobody could blame you for that.”

_But still I find you there_

The dark smirk stretches across his face before he can attempt to school his expression. “Nobody but me.” The look on their face forces him to reconsider his words. “But you… you’re not blaming me.”

“No.” That small two letter word is enough. If they can forgive him, then he can forgive himself. It’s surprisingly easier now to even contemplate the idea of it, when before he would chastise himself for being selfish and weak. His face erupts into a wondrous smile, and he gazes at them with awe. 

“I can’t be responsible for everyone… huh?”

_Next to me_

He’s hesitant to follow them, he can feel their irritation with him crawling along his skin, making him itch. He glances at them every other step, but can’t meet their eyes when they turn to answer his gaze. Silently he waits for it. He knows it’s coming. He’ll deserve it when it does.

“When did you think up this plan?” Their tone seems innocent enough, but he can feel the edge just around the corner.

“When I, uh. When I went down to my old office.” He looks down as they continue their trek in the palace hall. 

_And oh, stupid things I do_

“Before you turned yourself in.” There it is, the bite he was expecting. The disappointment, the hurt.

His flush comes hot and heavy, he can feel the heat rise to his face from the very tips of his toes. “Er… yes.” He can’t take this anymore, he stops and pivots on his heel to face them head on in the hallway. He takes a steady breath to calm his nerves. “I… I should have told you earlier, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

_I'm far from good, it's true_

They square their shoulders and look up at him, despite the height difference, they seem much more intimidating than himself. 

“Yes, you should have.” Their voice is hard, but not unkind. He can feel himself cower even more. “I want to help you, Julian. Me, Portia, Mazelinka… even Asra. We’re all here for you.”

He watches them in wonder, why weren’t they yelling at him? He would deserve it. “I… I was so convinced I had to do this alone. Because if I, if I’m wrong… if the worst happens…” He can’t meet their eyes. Why can he never meet their eyes? “I didn’t want you to feel responsible. But you… You still came to help.” The notion dawns on him and he can’t help the smile, he looks back up at them, some of his fear dissipating. “How about that?”

_But still I find you_

“Julian… your hands are shaking.” They reach out like they want to hold them.

In his nervousness he pulls them back, wringing them to try and contain the shake. “What, me? My hands are as sure as the sunrise, Y/N. When does anything bother me?”

They look unconvinced, they glance about and seem to come to a decision. “Come with me.”

He follows, and mutters to himself all the worst-case scenarios that his mind conjures up on it’s own. Before he knows it, he’s inside one of the guest rooms, with them shutting the door behind him. He pauses, looks about and turns to them. “Er, is this, this is your room, isn’t it? I’m not intruding, am I? Should I go?”

They roll their eyes at him, but there’s a smile tugging at their lips. “Yes, no, and no. Come here.”

He obeys and sits next to them on the bed, he tucks his legs under him, the bed is a bit low to the floor for his legs to rest comfortably. “Y/N, what are you…?”

They grab his hand and put it to their chest interlacing their fingers. Now is one of the few times he wishes he didn’t wear gloves almost 24/7. 

“Breathe with me.” They order, taking a deep breath in, holding and exhaling. He follows their breathing, staring at their interlaced hands, concentrating on the feel of their heartbeat on his palm. They are amazing, always knowing just what to do, what to say to assuage his inner turmoil, his inner fear. He allows himself to relax and he slumps forward burying his face in their neck. Oh, how lucky he is.

_Next to me_

_So thank you for taking a chance on me_

His smile fades after finishing his story, he peeks over at them sitting next to him on the bench. “I, uh, I’ve always been trouble, Y/N. I know that.” The fireflies light up around them, giving them a mystical glow, he watches the light dance on their face, mesmerized. “I can’t feel it more keenly than when I’m with you. Seems like it’s all I've gotten us into. But trouble…” He gives them his best mischievous look. “Trouble can be fun.” The look sours as he realizes what he’s saying. “Just not this kind. Not the kind that will get you killed on my account.”

_I know it isn't easy_

They smile at him softly. “I’m not worried about it. We’ll watch out for each other.” He’s thrown off as they lean towards him, hand resting on his chest. He stares at them, eye dancing between their face and their hand. He swallows hard, shaking his head. 

“I can’t even watch out for myself, Y/N.” His breath catches that they shift closer. When they’re this close… how can he possibly keep away? 

_But I hope to be worth it (oh)_

“Then we’ll work on it. I’m not letting you push me away again.” They whisper onto his lips. 

He should know better, he should shut up and kiss them but his insecurities won’t allow it. “But what if I fail-”

They’re having none of it, and they seal the rest of his sentence in his mouth as they press forward into a kiss. 

_So thank you for taking a chance on me_

Standing, he unbuttons his coat, he eyes them as they watch him with an amused expression. “May I have this dance?” He extends his hand to them, trying to be as suave as he can. Judging by their light flush, he’s doing a good job. He leads them onto the dance floor, and guides them among the other couples. He’s hyper aware of his hand on the small of their back, their hand on his shoulder, other on his hip. He winks at them, he’s not sure if it’s to break the heat between them or to settle his nerves. 

They glide along, easily reading each other's movements, their cues to each other coming as easily as breathing. He can feel himself melt in their arms. “Just like that, perfect! You’re a natural, Y/N. It’s moments like this when I know I made the right choice.” He can see the question in their eyes. 

_I know it isn't easy_

He lowers his voice, ducking down a bit to speak into their ear. “Back in the Hanged Man’s Realm, I mean.” He blushes, but doesn’t miss a beat of the dance. “Y/N, I… I hope you know how much you mean to me. How important you are.” He watches their eyes, alight with wonder as he confesses himself to them. “You and I both know that I’ve made mistakes. A _lot_ of mistakes.” He returns the gaze of wonder. “But even knowing what I’ve done, you still extended your hand to me. Offered me a way forward.” His face seems to gravitate towards theirs, he’s caught in their gaze and he never wants to be released from it. 

“You inspired me, Y/N. I want to do better, to _be_ better. Mark or no mark. I want to help people.” He whispers his next words against their lips. “To give them even a fraction of the kindness you’ve shown me back into the world.”

_But I hope to be worth it (oh)_

“I refuse.” Their answer is final and hard. He looks over at them in relief. 

“Ah, that’s really too bad. But that’s business for you, I suppose.” The Devil’s smile grows impossibly wider, and he begins to fade from view. “Valdemar, you know what to do.”

His heart leaps into his throat as he lunges for the Quaestor trying to stop them. They’re too fast and they tip the vial into the beaker, the black liquid bubbles as it eats the feather and cloth with a hiss. This was his fault, he should have seen the deception. He should have known that it was a diversion...

_Oh, I always let you down_

He can feel the breath being tugged forcibly from his lungs, he staggers a bit but manages to keep his feet. Pain lances it’s way through his chest next and he lets out a yell of surprise and pain. Color drains from his vision and he hears the sounds of something like potato sacks hitting the ground. “What the hell is-” He looks down in horror to see himself hovering above himself, Valdemar reaching down to grab his arm. “Hey! Get away from me!” He swipes at them, but his hands go right through them. He stumbles back, what was happening? He turns to look for them, has the same thing…?

_You're shattered on the ground_

He stares at the two figures before him, one standing above and one laying below. He can’t compute what was happening. His eyes linger on the form, lying prone on the ground lifeless. “What…” He looks up at them, eyes searching. “Y/N… what’s going on?”

They can’t answer, only stare at him in shock. They both startle as their body begins to dissolve and sublimate into a silver smoke. The cloud races away as Valdemar drags his body into the hedge maze.

_But still I find you there_

He’s not sure what’s happening, but he knows he can’t go after both. With a painful turn of his shoulders he turns his back to his own body. He gives them a brave smirk. “Y/N! Come on, let’s go!” He doesn’t hesitate, he doesn’t want them to understand the ultimatum. He doesn’t want to give them time, he dashes after the smoke. He hesitates only long enough to make sure they’re following.

_Next to me_

He stands helpless behind their barrier, watching in panic as the chains bounce away, and away until they no longer do. With a crash the barrier breaks, and they’re assaulted with the chains. They both manage to pull free of the first attempts, but the chains keep coming. 

“Look out!” He warns, but it’s too late, soon they’re both ensnared in the black chains, the metal cold and hard against their skin. Nevertheless, he tries, he pulls, he wriggles, but to no avail. 

_And oh, stupid things I do (stupid things we do)_

The Devil begins to make his way towards them, and a red hot rage courses through him. “Pick on someone your own size, you cud-chewing cheater!” There’s an odd silence after he speaks, but all he can really hear is the blood pulsing through his veins. If the realm hadn’t already been red, he would have been seeing nothing but. “Had to split us all up before you’d fight us, didn’t you? What are you, scared?” He pulls at the chains, his muscles screaming to be of use. “You chicken-hearted, lily-livered, baboon-faced waste of skin!”

It worked, the Devil turns away from them, and faces him, a mild amusement in his strange goat eyes. He lifts a black clawed hand, and his voice is abruptly cut off. Stunned he tries to yell insults again, but nothing comes out. 

“Go on. Tell me how you _really_ feel.” The Devil taunts.

“Julian!” They squeak, their eyes gleam with fear. The Devil glances at them, then twists his clawed hand again. 

His air is cut off, and he gasps trying to suck in air. At least, at the very least, he’s not hurting them instead.

_I'm far from good, it's true_

“Do you really think that will work?” The Devil chastises them, amused by their antics. 

He continues to struggle, to watch as best as he can, but his vision is starting to blur around the edges. Weakly he still tries to gasp for air. He gets a jolt of adrenaline as he hears them scream from agony. The air returns to his lungs, he coughs, his face twisting in fear. “Y/N! Y/N, no!”

The Devil rolls his goat eyes. “Ugh, enough with shouting each other’s names. Don't you have anything more interesting to say?” He sighs, it’s a disparaged and annoyed sound. “Well, I suppose this is as much as I can expect from the two of you. The facsimile of a dead magician, brought back no matter the cost. And a washed up plague doctor who couldn’t stop the plague, couldn’t have his apprentice… And couldn’t even be a murderer. You’re pathetic. Weak. And you will never be more than that.”

_But still I find you_

His smile is alive and fierce. “...That’s where you’re wrong. You’ll always be wrong. When I came back to Vesuvia I was lost. A wreck of a man, stumbling from one disaster to the next. I _was_ weak. And washed up, and a failure.” He turns from the Devil, ignoring the humanoid, and turns to them. All he has to say is for them anyway.

“Then I met you, Y/N. When I saw you on the aqueduct, I thought, ah, here’s another unfortunate soul. I didn’t understand why I was so drawn to you. Or why you saw something good in me, even then. I tried so many times to drive you away. ‘For your own good.’ When really… Really, I was afraid. I didn’t trust myself, and I didn’t trust you. All the futures I could imagine… ended in pain.” 

He manages to turn to them fully now, muscles straining against the chains. Even in this most desperate of situations a brilliant smile lights his face. “Y/N, you helped me see a way that I could be happy again. A path forwards. I want to walk that path with you, to the very end. It’s not always going to be easy. But now I think… no, I _know_ I can make it. When I stumble, you’ll be there for me, just like I’ll be there for you. Because we’re stronger together. Strong enough to face the future, come what may.”

He looks into their eyes, now shining with tears as they beam at him. They really were the best thing to happen to him, and he hopes he can live up to their expectations. But he’s sure that if they stay by his side, he will meet them.

“No matter what happens. I want you to know…”

_Next to me (next to me)_

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> so. many. screenshots. of. the. game. on. my. phone.
> 
> This was not an easy thing to do, so I hope it gets some love.
> 
> This was also my first song fic, so I hope I have the format right.


End file.
